Inebriation
by Nozomi Anshin
Summary: Gojyo got determined...to get Hakkai drunk. PG for language, rating will probably go up later. Possible shonen-aiyaoi in the future. Unfinished.
1. Chapter 1

**AN:** To those who have been waiting for updates on my other fics…Gomen, but lack of inspiration has had me stuck for a while, and now that I actually have a tiny bit of it, the computer decides to try and tell me that the disk the fics are on is not formatted……….I may have to rewrite some of them before I can post again, but I'm going to try my disk again when I get home.  

**Disclaimer:** I really really wish Saiyuki was mine.  Sadly, it's not.  Don't sue me…it's not like I could pay you anyway.

**Warnings:** none for now, except that this is unfinished, but probably language later.  And possible shonen-ai/yaoi.  Don't know on that one yet.  

Please R&R! Let me know if I should keep going or not!

**Inebriation**

_"That's it, Hakkai.  I'm tired of you outdrinking me.  You're going to get drunk, one way or another."_

That's what Gojyo had said five hours ago, as he pulled out quite a stash of alcohol, none of which was beer, wine, or sake.  

But now, only Gojyo and Hakkai remained.  Goku had hauled Sanzo's unconscious body to the room they were sharing that night.

Hakkai surveyed the bottles on the floor of the room he was sharing with the hanyou.  Many had labels he was not particularly familiar with, though a few he had heard of, at least in a general sense.  Eight bottles of different kinds of vodka had been killed by the pair, along with two bottles of tequila (which Hakkai found he was not particularly fond of),  four bottles of different flavor schnapps, three bottles of something called Bacardi 151 (Hakkai had also determined he didn't care for this…smelled too much like paint thinner), four bottles of Ever…  ever something.  Gojyo had said it was illegal in some countries…or so Hakkai thought he remembered.  It was that Ever-something stuff that Hakkai had found himself drinking quite a bit of…Gojyo didn't think he could handle it, and Hakkai had become determined to prove him wrong.

"You still…alive…"  Gojyo's voice spoke slowly, trying to hide his drunkenness.

"Yes," Hakkai replied calmly, his smile slightly lopsided.

"Man."  Gojyo kicked a few of the empty bottles in his attempt to pull at least the top half of his body off the floor.  

"You passed out," Hakkai stated matter-of-factly. 

"Shit."  Gojyo gave up and flopped back down, his blurred vision focusing somewhere in the vicinity of the ceiling.  "'Ow long?"

Hakkai looked at his watch with a frown.  Since when could he not read his watch?

"You kay, 'Kai?" Gojyo slurred, noticing the change in his friend's expression.

"I don't know."

"Dun know what?"

"How long.  Or if I'm okay."  Hakkai tried to laugh, but stopped abruptly when his laugh was interrupted by a soft "*hic.*"

Gojyo raised an eyebrow.  "Since when do you hiccup?" he asked, slowly finding his little 'nap' had sobered him up quite a bit.

"I *hic* don't…."  Hakkai blinked, obviously confused.  He felt very…stupid…at the moment…

"You look like your brain got up and walked out on you," Gojyo muttered, finally getting up and hunting down a beer, not ready to give up until Hakkai was good and drunk.

"I feel like that," Hakkai replied softly, his eyes following the blurry form of his friend.

"Lightheaded?"

"Hai."

"Dizzy?"

"Hai."

            "Feel like you're gonna barf?"

            "Iie…"

            "Well, that's good," Gojyo muttered as he opened the beer and raised it to his lips.  "Feel queasy?"

            "A bit."

            Gojyo took a long swallow.  "You're drunk."

            "I don't get drunk."

            "You do now."

            Hakkai blinked.  "But I don't get drunk…"

            "Yes, you do."

            "No, I don't."

            "Yes, you do, 'Kai."

            Hakkai let his head fall lazily to the left at hearing only half of his name, his lopsided smile across his lips.  "Can't say my name, can you?"

            "Nope…well, I could if I tried.  Can you say mine?"

            "Of course, Go-………"  Hakkai frowned.  He knew the name…really…his tongue just didn't want to say it.  "Goj-…"

            Gojyo laughed.  "No you can't.  And you're trying."

            "No, I'm not…"  Hakkai turned all his energy to saying the redhead's name.  "Go…Goj………G……"

            Gojyo kept laughing at his friend's failed attempts.  "Just stop.  I'm gonna die laughing," he said, sitting beside the youkai on the bed.

            Hakkai frowned.  Since when could he not say Goj…  Okay, since when could he not even _think_ the name?!

            "Did you keep going, when I dropped to the floor?"

            "I….I don't remember…"  

            "Wow.  I did it.  I got you drunk," Gojyo replied.

            "…"  Hakkai remained silent, his innate honestly kicking in, after his mind finally registered that he was indeed drunk.

            "But you don't sound drunk.  You don't seem drunk, except…"

            "Everything's fuzzy," Hakkai spoke.  And indeed, it seemed to be.  His thoughts were not making sense.  Just one after another, no connection, or so it seemed.  His vision was blurry, and his head hurt a bit.  And he couldn't even say the redhead's name!!

            "Can you stand?"

            Hakkai shrugged.  "Can I?"

            "Let's find out," Gojyo said, standing up.  He extended his hand to his drunken friend.  "Come on."

            Hakkai leaned forward, pushing himself up a bit with one hand, reaching out for the kappa's with the other.  

            Their hands made contact, and Gojyo seized Hakkai's, helping to pull him up.  Hakkai's knees, however, seemed to want nothing to do with standing, and Hakkai collapsed forward into Gojyo's arms.  Gojyo stumbled back a bit with the addition of Hakkai's weight.

            Gojyo chuckled.  "Apparently not," he said with a smile, setting his beer on the nightstand.

            Hakkai hung his head and did his best to help his friend get him back to the bed.  He can barely see, can barely think, can't stand, can't speak like he should…  He idly wondered what else being drunk can do to a person as he felt himself be sat down upon the bed once again.  

            He looked toward his friend, and suddenly one thing became clear in his vision.  Those piercing red eyes, staring intently into his…

**AN:** Wow! You made it this far!  Congratulations!  Now, what do you think I should do with it?  *eyes recycle bin…*


	2. Chapter 2

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A/N: hey, I'm back! Finally had a little time and inspiration… You know, I should probably be writing this while I'm drunk…that might make it more real. I feel like they both seem too sober for what I've got in mind… *shrug* Anywho. Thanks to all who reviewed!

****

Disclaimer: Oi. Hate doing this, but I don't own these guys. Wish I did. Don't sue me. I don't make money on this either. It's not good enough for that.

Hakkai blinked, hoping to clear up more of his vision, but to no avail. 

Those red eyes blinked, and the voice belonging to them floated through the haze clouding Hakkai's mind. 

"Hey…you alright?" The hanyou's voice was filled with concern.

Hakkai blinked a few more times. "I…I'm not sure…" he whispered, leaning his head onto his friend's chest. "Everything's so fuzzy…"

"Yeah, it gets like that. You sure you're not gonna get sick?"

"I…don't _think_ I will…"

"Hey, 'Kai. Don't strain yourself. Don't think too hard. It'll make things worse," the kappa said gently, rubbing his hand in circles on Hakkai's back. "After you've sobered up a bit, I gotta get you doing something, so you won't think too hard about it."

"Something? Like…what?"

"Whatever you want, 'Kai."

"Ever heard of Egyptian Rat Screw?"

Gojyo's eyes went wide. "Egyptian…WHAT?!?!?!?"

"It's a card game," Hakkai replied simply.

Gojyo blinked. And blinked. And blinked. "Egyptian Rat Screw. No, Never heard of it."

"I'll teach you."

"If you can remember it, that is."

"Remember what?" Hakkai blinked, looking up at the hanyou.

Gojyo sweatdropped. "How to play."

"Play what?"

The sweatdrop grew. Gojyo wondered if he had really forgotten the conversation. "Egyptian Rat Screw…the card game?"

Hakkai blinked, a vacant look in his eyes.

Oh yeah. He forgot. This was bad. No wonder Hakkai never really pushed himself to get drunk. He gets stupid, too. But…he seemed fine a few minutes ago. Well, he seemed to be _thinking_ fine, at least. Now he couldn't even do that right. Gojyo made a mental note to himself: Never do this again. But at least this time, it should be amusing.

"You…Don't remember…"

Hakkai smiled. "Of course I remember how to play it. Do you really think I'd forget something that quickly?"

Gojyo blinked. He was faking it?! "Oi, 'Kai…"

"Hm?"

"You faker."

Hakkai smiled a lopsided smile. It seems that's all he's capable of in his current state. "Gotcha."

Gojyo glared teasingly. "Why you-" He pushed Hakkai lightly, still wary of the youkai's stability.

Hakkai laughed. "Don't push me," he smiled as he pushed back.

Gojyo raised his eyebrows, surprised. "Feeling better are we?"

"Yes I am, _Go-jyo_," Hakkai replied, emphasizing the kappa's name.

"Oi, rub it in whydoncha," Gojyo pouted.

Hakkai laughed, a real, genuine laugh. 

Gojyo smiled, and found himself thinking Hakkai should laugh more. Laugh, and mean it. Then, he wondered if Hakkai was ticklish. His smile turned mischievous.

Hakkai stopped laughing. "What are you thinking, Gojyo?"

Gojyo's smile widened as he reached toward Hakkai. He grabbed the youkai's waist and pulled him closer, causing Hakkai to gasp. "Who said I'm thinking?" he whispered, as he started to tickle his friend's sides. "I'm drunk, remember?"

"Not _that_ drunk," Hakkai corrected with another gasp. He pursed his lips, trying not to laugh.

But Gojyo could see the laugh in Hakkai's green eyes. He kept tickling, willing himself to break down that wall Hakkai was trying to keep.

Without warning, Gojyo succeeded. Hakkai's eyes squinted shut as he exploded into a fit of laughter. Gojyo grinned. Hakkai squirmed, attempting to free himself of the kappa's torture.

"Go-Gojyo, stop it!" Hakkai laughed, leaning away from the redhead. His own imbalance, however, caused him to fall backward, lying on the bed. 

Gojyo's grip had been firm enough, oddly, to pull him down as well, landing in a somewhat…awkward…position, on top of the green eyed youkai. Gojyo grinned. This had potential… He leaned forward a bit, bringing his face closer to that of his friend.

Hakkai groaned. "Gojyo, I don't…feel so good…"

Gojyo rolled his eyes. His tickling had probably caused Hakkai to move more than his drunken body should have. _Should have known. _"Nauseous?"

"Yes."

"Then just lay still," Gojyo instructed. "I'm sorry, Hakkai. I shouldn't have tickled you."

Hakkai lay his left arm over his eyes, willing the nausea to leave. "Why do you say that?"

"I ended up making you move more than you should have."

"But you're drunk, Gojyo. I'm learning people tend not to think like they should when they're drunk…"

"Yeah, but I'm not _that_ drunk, as you pointed out."

Hakkai reached his right hand toward where he knew his friend to be and touched his arm lightly. "You didn't mean to. I'm not mad."

"I know you're not, but I am. At myself."

"Don't be."

"…"

"Hakkai, are you okay?" Goku's voice sounded loudly through the silence. 

"I'm drunk, Goku," Hakkai said, removing his arm from his eyes and sitting up slowly, though keeping his right hand on Gojyo's arm. "I'm really drunk."

"You don't seem it…"

"I'm the only one that ever does, saru," Gojyo muttered. "Even Sanzo pretty damn well stays his normal grouchy self."

Goku grinned. "You sure?"

"Yeah… You remember that time we entered the drinking contest? Except for the fact that he passed out, he was like he always is."

"He's not like that now…"

"Oh?" Hakkai asked curiously.

Goku's face reddened. "I just wanted to make sure you're gonna be okay…I've gotta go…take care…of Sanzo now…" Goku told him quickly before leaving as suddenly as he'd come.

Gojyo raised an eyebrow. "Was he inferring what I think he was inferring?"

"Either that, or your mind is even more dirty when you're drunk," Hakkai laughed lightly.

"I could have told you that much," Gojyo said with a grin. 

Hakkai smiled.

Gojyo got up and headed for his neglected open beer. "I'm way too sober for this. I'm at least gonna be drunk with you."

"Get me one, would you?" Hakkai asked.

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"Whatever man. You're nuts."

"I could have told you that much," Hakkai retorted with a smile. "And get the cards. I need to teach you how to play the game."

"Egyptian Rat Screw, huh? Where the hell'd they get a name like that?"

"You've got me."


	3. Ch 3 Instruction

**A/N:** Thanks again to those who reviewed!  For those of you who know how to play Egyptian Rat Screw, You rule!  For those who don't, I had Hakkai tell Gojyo the directions.  (I'd contemplated leaving that part out and just jumping in somewhere in the course of their game, but I don't want to lose you.  Besides, it's a great game!)

"They could at least be vulgar about it.  Egyptian Rat Fuck.  I like that better," Gojyo muttered, holding out the beer and the cards to the youkai.

"You would," Hakkai replied, taking the beer and opening it.

Gojyo smirked.  "So.  How do we play?"

"It's better in larger groups, but it can be played with just two."

"We could drag in Sanzo and the saru," Gojyo said with a shrug."

"You want to interrupt them?"

Gojyo paused, remembering the look and tone that Goku had had.  "Never mind.  Maybe next time."

Hakkai laughed and began shuffling the deck.  His eyes, however, stayed on Gojyo.  The pair was sitting at opposite ends of the bed-Hakkai near the headboard, Gojyo at the foot, with the 'playing field' between them.  Gojyo had lit a cigarette and taken a puff, but now the stick just hung limply from his lips.  Much to his surprise, he found himself envying that cigarette.  He shook his head and chased away the thought with a soft laugh.

"What?" Gojyo asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Nothing," Hakkai replied, dealing out the cards.  "First, the dealer deals out the entire deck of cards to the players.  In this case, we each get half.  You're not allowed to look at the cards, and when you flip them onto the table-"

"You mean bed."

Hakkai smiled, but ignored the comment.  "-pull them so the other player sees it before you."  Hakkai demonstrated, playing his first card.  Gojyo followed suit.

"Now what?"

Hakkai looked at the two cards.  Three of hearts and four of spades.  He flipped another card.  "Jack.  When a face card is flipped over, the next person has a certain number of chances to flip another face card.  Jack gives one chance, Queen two, King three, and Ace four."

"What happens if I don't flip a face?"

"Whoever played the last face card takes the pile.  The object is to collect all the cards."

Gojyo raised an eyebrow.  "Doesn't sound like much of a game."

Hakkai smiled.  "Like I said, it's best played with three or more.  In those cases, once a player is out of cards, they can return to the game.  When two cards of the same number are played, the first player to notice smacks the pile and takes it.  If the first player to do so had had no cards at that point, they are back in the game."

Gojyo flipped over a card.  "Damn. Six."

Hakkai took the pile.  "Now that you know, there is one final thing before this game really starts."

"What's that?"

"Play fast," Hakkai answered, flipping over his next card faster than Gojyo's eyes could follow.

"Damn.  Aren't you supposed to be slower when you're drunk?"

Hakkai looked at him innocently.  "I am."

Gojyo sweat dropped and flipped over his next card. "Ha! Ace! Beat that!"

Hakkai turned a jack.

Gojyo turned a seven; Hakkai took the pile and turned an eight.

Gojyo turned a four.

            Hakkai a 7.

            Gojyo – Q.

            Hakkai – 5, J.

            Gojyo – 4. "Damn!"

            Hakkai smiled.  "Seems lady luck is with me," he spoke as he paused for a sip of his beer.

            "Damn whore, that woman," Gojyo replied, taking a drag on his cigarette.  Hakkai laughed.  "So, how long's this game supposed to take?"

            "As long as it takes for someone to get all the cards," Hakkai replied, flipping over a King.

            Gojyo flipped a 6, 8, A.  "Booh-ya!"

            Hakkai flipped the fourth and final jack.

            "Fuck."  Gojyo muttered as he flipped over his next card.  A queen.

            Hakkai flipped; another queen, and Gojyo smacked the pile a fraction of a second before Hakkai.

            "Ow, dude, you hit hard!" Gojyo said, making no effort to move his hand.

            "Sorry," Hakkai replied, only moving his hand when the door to their room opened once again.

            "Whatcha guys doing?" came Goku's voice once more, though somewhat more harshly than it should have.

            "Playing a game.  How's Sanzo?" Gojyo asked with a snicker.

            "Ch," Goku sounded, walking toward the bed.  "Passed out."

            "You sound upset," Hakkai voiced.

            "You would too, if---" Goku blushed.  "Ah, never mind."

            "He passed out on ya, didn't he?" Gojyo concluded as he finally picked up the pile.

            Goku blushed harder and nodded.  "So what are you playing?"

            "Egyptian Rat Fuck," Gojyo replied.

            "Screw, Gojyo," Hakkai corrected, picking up his beer for another drink.

            Gojyo smirked. "Screw who?"

Hakkai spat out the beer as his face turned an interesting shade of red.  "The name of the game…" he began, after regaining a small amount of his composure.  "Is Egyptian Rat Screw."  
            "Oh, I've played that.  Can I join you?" Goku asked, climbing onto the bed and over where the pile had been, seating himself cross-legged, and his back to the wall.

"Only if you smack in," Hakkai told him.  "Then we can give Gojyo a taste of what this game is really like," he finished with a devilish, though somewhat lopsided, smile.

Goku nodded.  "Fair."

Gojyo flipped his card.  

Several rounds passed without the pile being taken, but when two Aces finally fell together, Goku smacked in and grabbed the pile before even Hakkai could smack the bed.

"Fuck.  He's even faster than you, 'Kai."

"It'll be a good game, then," Hakkai replied, his gaze falling intently on Gojyo.  "You will be able to keep up, ne?"

"I'd have to be drunk not to," Gojyo answered, meeting Hakkai's gaze with the same intensity.

"You are drunk," Goku replied.

            "Shut up, saru," Gojyo growled.  

            Hakkai looked suddenly to Goku.  "You up for this?"

            The youth grinned. "You bet," he answered, flipping over his first card.

            And thus began the dangerous _real_ game.


End file.
